It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
