I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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