very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
