hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
