Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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