I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
