I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
