well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
