She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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