"it" just moved
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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