Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
