I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
