Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
