I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
