There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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