Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
