I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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