Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
