As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
