I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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