my phone needs a breathalizer
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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