remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
