Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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