i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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