The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
