So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
