fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They have beer where we have blood.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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