Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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