Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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