the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
