office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
