Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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