i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you didnt know i had herpes?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
