I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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