Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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