and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
