Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
