he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
