I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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