It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
