YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
being pregnant is like rehab
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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