The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I believe in your delicious
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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