just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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