Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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