she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
