Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
