if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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