Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
