i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
