Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm sobbing to NWA
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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