my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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