I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
