I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
