so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize