The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
