the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
