And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there was a trapeze. enough said
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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