Whod you bang
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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